When do we get to upgrade?

I went to a computer show yesterday to buy some parts to upgrade my computer. More memory and a new video card. Both installed easily and are working fine. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could upgrade ourselves as easily as as we can our computers? We could delete the old painful memories and remove the hurt feelings and replace them with fresh happy thoughts and shiny new emotions.

Like a well-programmed robot, I've lived much of my life performing the routine duties of life: learning, working, trying to complete my tasks as as efficiently and effectively as my abilities would allow. Recently I have received an upgrade to my programming--an upgrade I thought I never needed or would be of much use to me. That upgrade consists of the friendship of two humans whom I've never met in person or even knew existed. Two remarkable people who are many miles distant from me and with whom I've only communicated through an electronic connection, an efficient method of communnication for robots. However, I think my upgrade may be defective, because since it was installed, I've been experiencing these odd moments that I don't quite understand. At times energized and upbeat, and at other times, de-energized and in a powered-down state. A few times, a strange liquid has leaked from my optical sensors, something I've rarely had happen before. Extensive computational analysis on my part has determined these strange states are something Humans call "emotions". Robots of my design aren't programmed for these strange and somewhat confusing states; should I return this upgrade for replacement? Or maybe it isn't defective at all--maybe this "friendship" upgrade is supposed to function this way. Perhaps feeling upbeat when talking to friends is normal and being down when they're not there is also normal. Should reading about troubles they've had or fun times they've expeienced affect my programming this way? I will have to conduct further investigation into this phenomenom...I'd better keep this upgrade for awhile to determine if it is truly functioning at its optimal level.
Until I finish my computations on this subject, I will remain in electronic contact with these individuals in the hopes of learning more and perhaps even understanding these complex "emotions"--maybe they are useful functions after all! I'm an older model robot but I guess even my programming can be altered by these incredible Humans.

Thanks guys--you know who I'm talking about.